We all can use a bit of advice when it comes to our personal lives. So to have someone who is able to help you dive deep and reevaluate your choices is so helpful.
Rebecca Lynn Pope is a master Abundant Life Coach and a viral YouTube personality offering courses on life, love, business, and leadership. Rebecca holds international, luxury leadership retreats that are powerful and transformative experiences for coaches. Her online courses, workbooks, certifications, and retreats continually change lives and sell out worldwide.
At some point or another, you have come across one of her amazing discussions, or maybe you are subscribed to her emails so you can stay on top of your finances, or simply know how to ask for what you want in a relationship! Her knowledge and positive advice are good for the soul!
We had the pleasure to catch up with her and ask some helpful questions that we hope will encourage you all. Check out our interview below.
- What made you want to become a Life Coach and how has helping others transformed the way you think and feel?
I wanted to become a life coach to help people heal and transform their lives. It has impacted me in such a major way. I learned so much about people – in that we all are human, we’re all hurt and we all have struggles. No matter our status, our titles, or our money, we’re all human.
- How do you define love?
I define love as a commitment long after the feelings may come or go. Love is what makes you hang in there with someone you believe in and that you love. It’s not always easy. The way to tell the difference between love and other emotions is that it’s very difficult to walk when you truly love someone. You tend to stick with them through the thick and thin and the ups and the downs.
- What is the most difficult part of what you do when it comes to helping others discover their worth?
The most difficult part about helping others discover their worth is often that sometimes the people who are suffering from very low self-esteem and low confidence have been beaten down by life. It started typically early in life, or even childhood and so there are core beliefs that have to be reprogrammed. That is not easy, nor is it fast. It requires a lot of retraining of the brain in order to help people begin to believe in themselves – their own innate worth and that they deserve a good life.
- This is our Black Love issue, how do you feel couples of African American descent can better communicate to understand each other?
I believe couples of African American descent can communicate with each other by actually studying how to communicate – to become a better listener and take the time to learn how to communicate. Don’t assume just because you can talk that you’re an effective communicator. Being a great listener is also a part of being a great communicator as well. There are courses, books, and all types of resources that can help us learn how to better communicate.
- You help so many to learn self-worth, what is your story? Did you face any challenges in relationships/marriage?
I often tell people that I got it all wrong before I got it right. I got married very young. I did not know my worth. I did not know myself and I think that it’s important to take time to get to know yourself. Take your time to know your path, who you are, and where you want to go before you attach yourself to someone else. So, getting married very young, yes, I faced many challenges. In the maturing and growing process, I eventually ended up divorced because we got married so young. We didn’t know who we were and eventually grew apart. So, knowing who you are and knowing your worth is very very crucial. Understanding what you need in a relationship, how you’re going to show up, and how you need someone to show up for you. I think it is a major factor in choosing healthy partners to have healthy relationships.
- Often upbringing and social media play a part in mental development. How can individuals overcome society’s idea of couple goals?
When it comes to mental development and society’s idea of couple goals, I think that nothing can replace true mentorship. Being able to have mentors that represent what healthy marriage and what healthy relationships look like is so important for young people so that they don’t fall into the trap of thinking that social media represents these highlight reels of relationships and how unrealistic that is. Real-life experiences with real couples and real marriages are very necessary.
- What is your advice on overcoming insecurities and setting boundaries for yourself and your relationship/marriage?
Overcoming insecurities and setting boundaries for yourself in relationships is all about finding your voice and knowing that it’s healthy to have opinions to express yourself. It’s healthy to know what you want and to understand it’s okay to ask for it. I think it’s also very crucial that most people study how healthy boundaries look. Most of us don’t come from families where we learn what healthy boundaries and healthy self-esteem truly look like. It’s a matter of learning for yourself and being responsible for your well-being to show up in relationships. If you don’t have that as role models and examples, go study it and learn it for yourself.
- We see so many happily promoting infidelity and speaking proudly about having sneaky links, side pieces, etc, how do you feel about that, and in what ways can couples create trust in their relationship?
I think that it’s crucial to understand how unhealthy and toxic the world has become on the promotion of unhealthy and disloyal relationships. We have to make sure we reinforce goals, values, and morals when it comes to relationships. What we see promoted across social media with infidelity and everything doesn’t mean that that’s healthy and it doesn’t mean that that’s the majority of relationships – it means that it’s just someone’s opinion on social media. Oftentimes, we can have hurt, toxic people promoting expert advice, etc, and you must be very careful about taking in and allowing that to affect your outlook on relationships and yourself. I think it’s important for couples to have discussions and communication about social media. I think it’s important to minimize social media in your day-to-day life. There’s nothing wrong with social media for some entertainment but when we are getting to the point where most people are spending four to six hours a day on social media, it’s just getting out of control.
- Why is it important for black men and black women to heal from childhood traumas in order to have a healthy relationship?
It’s important for Black men and Black women to heal from childhood traumas to have a healthy relationship because what we experience in childhood shows up in adulthood. I believe everyone needs therapy and I believe everyone would benefit from coaching. We can’t just say ‘This is how I am’ and expect people to love us the way we are, especially if we’re unhealthy and toxic. I believe everyone is responsible for their own personal well-being and their own personal health – mind, body, and spirit. Mentally, emotionally, and physically it is your responsibility to show up as healthy as you can. The formula for a healthy relationship is two people. So gone are the days of thinking that all we have to do is fall in love and we can have you know an amazing relationship. It takes way more than love to have a healthy relationship. It’s going to take a lot of inner healing and mental health work for both parties to show up healthy.
- Often singles can get caught up in the search for the right partner and it can become a never-ending cycle because you always see someone better, what is your advice for those individuals?
In modern dating, we’re allowed ego into the driver’s seat. I think that people are very caught up in very egotistical motivations for whom they want to be with, whom they think they should be with, or whom they think they deserve. A lot of that is just an illusion. It’s fantasy. It’s not even realistic, so being able to get very honest and real about the things that matter – the things that really matter around character, morals, and work ethic and being able to be with someone who helps you to be your best and vice versa is very crucial. I think that it’s important that first of all maturity is a requirement for real relationships and we’re seeing so much immaturity when it comes to modern dating. It’s really not about age. I think it’s about mindset and so when you’re dating if you’re not really truly looking for a life partner, I think it’s important to be honest about that, that you are in the market and letting people know ‘Hey, I’m just having fun right now”. I think honesty goes a long way and I think that people who end up wasting people’s time muddy the waters when it comes to dating. I think if people could be more honest about whatever their intentions are, it would really make things a lot more straightforward when it comes to dating.
- What upcoming events or projects can we look forward to from you?
I am releasing a brand-new masterclass called Nice for What. It is for people who struggle around people pleasing and not believing in themselves and want to form strong boundaries so that they can command the respect and the love that they deserve. I also have a brand-new book coming out called “Nice for What”, so really looking forward to that as well.
- What services do you offer for those looking to seek your help?
I offer coaching certifications for people who are wanting to become certified life coaches. I offer branding and marketing for coaches through my company Millionaire Coach which helps coaches to build their own six and seven-figure businesses. I also provide life coaching through my certified coaches and you’re able to sign up to get my Abundant Life Coaching through my company Abundant Life Path as well.
Be sure to go Subscribe to the YouTube for Rebecca Lynn Pope to stay inspired and keep up with her on Social Media! Instagram | Twitter | Facebook
Get your copy of her book, LOVE AND DATING IN THE 21ST CENTURY!
