We’re Losing People, Where is the Solution?

Are we going to talk about the alarming rate of people committing suicide today?

Mental Health is a topic that at times is trodden lightly on in the black community because people feel it’s better to ignore it than to face the reality that something can seriously be wrong with your friends or loved ones.

We went to school or were raised in homes where we watched kids be teased for having to take medication for mental disorders. They were labeled as “crazy” and in the home considered to just be bad kids who needed more discipline.

As a person who suffered from Depression at a young age, I know all too well what it felt like and I remember being called names and teased for it. I went to school and the kids would laugh when the nurse called my classroom over the speaker and asked me to come to her office every day at the same time.

I was told to “go get my crazy medicine” by the kids.

My depression came from molestation, physical and verbal abuse being experienced in my early childhood and teen years.

This feeling led to deeper stages of depression and at home, I had no one to talk to about how I was feeling. I felt very alone, and I felt like there was only one way out of this feeling. So at age 13, I was suicidal. I remember locking myself up in my bedroom closet with a knife and planning to end my life. The signs for me if anyone had paid attention, were that I was extremely quiet and stayed to myself. Although I participated in track and honors programs at school, I was very distant. I hated to go home and when there, I spent my evenings burying my face in a book as a way to escape reality. I hated the world around me which was my living environment. I feared telling my teachers and counselor how I was feeling because I knew they would call home and the person who was part of the problem, would only make me feel worse about it.

I tell people today that what saved me in that closet, was a soft calm voice that until this very day I believe was an angel of God. I was told that it gets better and to not give up.

When I got older, I fought hard to work with other kids and even adults who were suffering from various mental disorders. They needed a voice, they needed someone to say, I been there in your shoes and you can overcome this!

It’s important that we pay attention to our “strong friends or kids” because those are the ones who at times are sitting in silence about their problems thinking they can figure it out on their own. As adults, who really wants to bother other people with your problems? You feel that it’s your responsibility and nobody will care for real. Why? Because society has shown you many times that people don’t care, and will make fun of your problems. They laugh at your crying LIVE videos and turn you into a meme.

Without proper therapy or counseling, a person can go to drastic measures to escape the pain and voices in their heads telling them to give up.

Talk to your kids daily about how they feel and how their day was at school. Don’t just leave them alone for hours on a game or app and assume that all is well.

When my child is quiet and giving one-word responses about how she feels, I turn off the TV, I take her phone and I say, I’m here and listening so let’s talk about how you really feel and we don’t turn the TV back on until she sees its safe to speak her truth. Remember that kids need to feel safe with you enough to share their feelings. If they have other siblings then take them away from them to a quiet place, like the car or even outside, and let them speak without feeling like they will be punished or ridiculed for talking to you.

For adults, they need dependable friends/family who are always just a phone call away to offer good sound advice. Pick up the phone and call those you haven’t spoken to in a while to see how they are doing. Responses like, I’m okay or everything is well, can usually mean things are not fine but they just don’t want to worry you with it. Let them know it’s safe to open up and don’t make fun of how they feel when they tell you the truth.

We all know everyone is busy with their work-life and family, but taking just a few minutes to pause and listen to your friend or loved one could save their life! We all have been guilty of forwarding calls to voicemail and texting people that we will talk to them later. We all have been guilty of assuming happy posts on Facebook or Twitter must mean they are good.

Of course, we can’t save everyone, but we can start now being attentive to the signs of suicide to help prevent it. Our hearts go out to the families, currently dealing with a loss of a loved one, to suicide across the world.