In a world saturated with curated couple photos and #RelationshipGoals, Elitia and Cullen have emerged as a refreshing, real, and revolutionary force in the conversation around love. As the powerhouse duo behind WhenLoveWorks Dynamically, they’ve built more than just a marriage — they’ve co-created a mission-driven platform dedicated to reshaping how we view, build, and sustain healthy relationships. With honesty, intention, and lived experience as their foundation, the couple is breaking down the fantasy and building up the truth: that thriving love takes work, communication, and a whole lot of grace.
FEMI: Elitia and Cullen, together you’ve built not only a beautiful marriage but a powerful platform that speaks to love, healing, and intentional relationships. Can you share how your personal journey shaped the foundation of the work you’re doing today?
Elitia: Our journey is rooted in a deep belief that healthy relationships, whether in marriage, family, or career, are not just a destination but a continuous process of intentional growth. What we’ve experienced in our personal lives has informed the core of our work at WhenLoveWorks Dynamically. We struggled early on but were determined to co-create a healthy love together. It was in facing our own challenges, and through the lessons we’ve learned, that we’ve developed a clear understanding that thriving relationships require real work — vulnerability, communication, conflict resolution skills, and the willingness to grow together. This insight is what inspired us to create our relationship-building programs and share the tools that transformed our relationship with others.
Cullen: I agree. Our journey has been a testament to the power of communication and the importance of showing up authentically. When we got married, we didn’t have the blueprint for a perfect marriage, but we had a deep commitment to learning, evolving, and prioritizing our relationship. Our personal experiences and the lessons we’ve learned from our own ups and downs have shaped how we guide others today. Through WhenLoveWorks Dynamically, we aim to offer others the same tools we used to strengthen and grow our own bond.
FEMI: Your dynamic is unique because you both bring individual voices and experiences to the table while also showing up as a united front. How do you balance your personal identities with your shared mission — and what have you learned about partnership through that process?
Elitia: Balancing our individual identities with our shared mission requires a deep respect for each other’s strengths. Cullen brings incredible communication skills and strategic thinking to the table, while I offer a more educational, nurturing perspective. We each play to our individual strengths, but always align on the vision of helping others experience deep, healthy relationships. What we’ve learned through this process is that a partnership isn’t just about coexisting — it’s about bringing your best self forward and allowing the other person to do the same. Together, we create a balance of energy that fuels our mission.
Cullen: I agree wholeheartedly. It’s about trust, collaboration, and mutual support. Over the years, we’ve learned that while we both have distinct roles, our combined energy creates something even more powerful. We complement each other beautifully — it’s not about competition but collaboration. I’ve learned that honoring each other’s individuality while staying united in our purpose has been key to our personal and professional growth.
FEMI: In a world where social media often shows us “relationship goals” without the real work behind the scenes, how do you stay authentic and intentional about the message you’re putting out regarding love, communication, and growth?
Elitia: We’ve always been committed to showing the full picture of a relationship— the highs, the lows, and everything in between. What we want our audience to understand is that healthy relationships don’t just happen. They require intentional effort, vulnerability, conflict-resolution skills and communication. Social media can make things appear effortless, but we want to break the illusion that relationships are easy. Our message focuses on the reality of doing the work — understanding one another, navigating challenges, and growing together. Authenticity has always been at the core of what we do, and we aim to inspire others to approach their relationships with intention and openness.
Cullen: Exactly. Social media can sometimes disproportionately focus on the “highlight reels” of relationships, but we believe in showing the behind-the-scenes work that truly contributes to making a relationship sustainable. We prioritize honesty over perfection, and that’s what we bring to our platform. We’re not offering a picture-perfect romance; we’re offering real tools, real conversations, and real-life insights that help people build relationships that are not just beautiful but also resilient.
FEMI: You both speak so openly about the importance of emotional intelligence and vulnerability in relationships. What was the turning point in your own journey when you realized those tools were not just helpful — but necessary for lasting love?
Elitia: For me, the turning point came when I realized that some of the bad communication habits I brought into our relationship were hindering our connection and intimacy. At times, my tone was hostile with my husband, which you can imagine was damaging for such an intimate relationship. I knew that if we truly wanted to become lifetime partners, I had to solve this and learn healthier ways to communicate. That shift was pivotal in allowing vulnerability to flourish, creating a space for honesty and deeper connection. It wasn’t just helpful — it was absolutely crucial to our growth as a couple.
Cullen: I remember that time too, and I can honestly say that this shift couldn’t have come soon enough. I was starting to develop bad habits around the hostility, often preemptively getting upset with my wife because I assumed a negative tone and energy would dominate the conversation. This only pushed our relationship into a deeper negative place. I realized that being able to understand and manage our emotions, while also being vulnerable enough to share them, was essential for overcoming the barriers that often cause conflict. I’m truly grateful that both of us leaned into emotional intelligence and vulnerability. We developed tools that allowed us to have deeper, more civil, and more meaningful conversations. These tools were game-changers for us — and they are the foundation of what we teach today.
FEMI: Looking ahead, what’s next for the Mattox brand — whether it’s workshops, books, digital content, or community initiatives — and what legacy do you hope to leave for couples and individuals who are learning to love themselves and others better?
Elitia: We’re incredibly excited about the future and the many ways we can continue to support individuals and couples on their journeys. We’re focused on expanding our relationship-building programs and workshops, with a strong emphasis on offering more personalized resources for couples. Additionally, we’re working on updating our digital content, app and online courses, so that people can access tools to enhance their relationships at their own pace. Ultimately, we want to leave a legacy where love is not just an emotion but a skill — a skill that is learned, nurtured, and passed down through generations. Our vision is to create a planet of Love Leaders. These Love Leaders will have the skills to build, repair, and sustain healthy relationships, empowering others to experience love in its healthiest, most transformational form.
Cullen: Our goal is to continue expanding our reach and impact — whether through workshops, our relationship-building platform, speaking engagements, or books. At the heart of it all is our desire to help people master the skills that will allow them to spend more time enjoying their relationships, rather than just enduring struggles. We want to leave a legacy of individuals and couples who understand that love requires ongoing effort and development. Our hope is that we can teach people how to create and sustain relationships that not only thrive but inspire others to do the same.
FEMI: Are you both fans of the “Pop the Balloon or Find Love” dating show? Why or why not?
While some viewers see the viral “Pop the Balloon” dating show as superficial, we see brilliance. As Lead Relationship Coaches and creators of the Conscious Dating Series, we believe this format mirrors the healthiest way to date—quick clarity, no fantasy or projection, and a confident ability to walk away. Dating is not a relationship; there is no commitment during this stage. This is your time to explore chemistry, test compatibility, and ask intentional questions. When you show up authentically—sober, emotionally regulated, and guided by self-awareness—you’re more likely to attract someone aligned with your values and recognize red flags early.
FEMI: Does the “Pop the Balloon or Find Love” show make singles look shallow or judgemental in your opinion? Why or why not?
Not at all. In fact, we believe the “Pop the Balloon or Find Love” show gives singles full permission to be intentional and honest—two qualities we actively teach in our Conscious Dating Series. What might look “shallow” to some is actually strategic clarity. Singles on the show are making quick decisions based on chemistry, energy, and a first impression—and that’s exactly what the early dating stage is for.
We recognize that we may be the only ones teaching this way, but we want you to be successful along your journey.
We teach that Dating is not a relationship. There is no obligation, no commitment, and certainly no need to “stick around and extend grace.”
In our community, especially among Black professionals, many have been socialized to overlook their needs and stay in situations out of fear of judgment, rejection, or appearing “too picky.”
But the truth is, this is the few times you get to be conditional—because once you’re in a relationship, you’re building. The brilliance of the show is that it teaches singles to honor their own clarity without guilt or shame. Dating is not a relationship. Dating is a short ‘shopping’ experience. “If you don’t feel it, don’t fake it.”
Elitia and Cullen’s story is more than a testimony of personal growth — it’s a roadmap for anyone ready to move beyond surface-level love. Through their work, they invite others into a space where authenticity is celebrated, healing is prioritized, and relationships are not just survived, but deeply lived. Their journey proves that when love is rooted in purpose, nurtured with intention, and fueled by mutual growth, it doesn’t just work — it transforms.
Images Courtesy of Publicist.
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