According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience severe intimate partner physical violence, intimate partner contacts sexual violence, and/or intimate partner stalking with impacts such as injury, fearfulness, post-traumatic stress disorder, use of victim services, contraction of sexually transmitted diseases, etc. (https://ncadv.org/STATISTICS). I am sure just reading the statistics has conjured many feelings, stories, and thoughts about someone you may know or heard of who has been through DV, or maybe you have even experienced it yourself. Domestic violence is a challenging topic to discuss and can create many painful memories or thoughts, but know you are not alone and help is always ready.
Kendra Hall, a survivor of domestic violence, has decided to step out of those shadows of the abuse and turn her pain into a story that she can share, a mentorship so that she can help heal, and a book so that she can educate and increase awareness about domestic violence. Femi Magazine interviews the amazing author and mentor to gain insight into domestic violence and more about her growth.
It is never easy addressing being a teen mom and surviving DV. What were some of your strengths and resources that you relied on to become the author, mentor, and advocate that you are today?
My childhood was fast. I was a mother by the age of 14 and learned many life lessons the hard way. While I’m assertive in researching, I had to work on my mindset continually. I utilized prayer and bible study to help develop my foundation. I studied and applied the acquired knowledge needed to make effective life changes. I chose not to be a victim of my circumstances. It took God’s pruning to become the woman I am today.
Since having your first child, you have seen years of teen pregnancy, domestic violence, and mental health issues in girls and women. What has been the trend throughout this time, and how do your mentorship and advocacy address these matters?
I’ve seen the trend of people from teenage years and beyond, riddled with self-manipulation. Many teens are falling into other people on various levels instead of standing on their own two feet. These teens become adults and never outgrow the toxic cycle.
I’ve seen many girls trust the wrong people because they show them kindness or give them access to resources. I mostly see a lot of self-manipulation thinking a certain way because the person wants to keep parts of their toxic situation alive.
Those that grow in life are teachable. Life demands this to be so. I’ve come from self-manipulation situations, and I understand what it takes to grow and heal from them. I realize God has seen me through life’s trials and tribulations thus far. I depend on Him, not man. God is my center. That center is where my mentorship leads you back to. I promote faith along with the hard work personal development requires.
Think back to your first client. How did you feel after working with this person, and what has inspired you to continue your work?
My first client truly inspired me to expand further. I felt revived after our meeting. It’s a rewarding experience to help others. I am driven to give back and am grateful to do so.
What is one thing for sure that people can expect from you when they choose to join your mentorship program?
One thing to expect when receiving mentorship is homework. There will be creative assignments given to promote your personal development. I like to hear my mentees create opportunities for their personal growth. I think it’s important to be accountable and work diligently, especially when trying to level up in life. I believe learning and growing go hand and hand.
What has been the best advice that someone has given you that will live with you forever?
A phrase that stuck with me since I was a teenager was to stay focused. We all have to remember to stay focused on what matters. It’s easy to be distracted and lose yourself to lesser energies. To assist in helping to stay focused, I use tools like vision boards and journaling. I’ve learned that continual personal development is the real key to staying focused.
When releasing Dropping Jewelz in October 2018, what was going on through your life to inspire this read?
I don’t feel like I had a choice to write “Droppin’ Jewelz: Guiding Principles Help Girls Live Their Best Life.” I felt God pulling me to get my testimony out in a greater magnitude and to be more impactful in His name. It was not easy to write this book. I cried, sang, laughed, and prayed through the writing process. I am thankful to my amazing Editor and Minister, Dr. Angela Massey, for her support and love. Each page showcases God’s strength in the midst of raging storms. The lessons learned in “Droppin’ Jewelz: Guiding Principles Help Girls Live Their Best Life” has and will continue to change lives for the better.
For more information about the award-winning advocate Kendra and her mentorship program, follow her on IG: @justusjewelz and website: www.droppinjewelz.com.
Other resources: https://www.thehotline.org, and check for local resources.
Adezza DuBose is a lover of love and mental health speaker. She thrives in uplifting black people and hyping them up to be the best version of themselves. She is a poet, author, and blogger and enjoys eating seafood and vegan food.
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