It is getting cold and black women are treated even colder. We have caught up on the news and trending topics about Breonna Taylor, who has yet to receive justice, along with the heartbreaking trending quote, “Breonna Taylor, We are Sorry.” We have acknowledged that there is no fair treatment or say so without repercussions in the hospital for a black woman giving birth. Lastly, we know that black women are “Unvalued and unprotected,” as Ms. Tamar Braxton posted on her IG page in September. With all of the mental stress that has accompanied black people, in general, this year alone, not to mention the past 400 years, black women seem to get the end of the stick. However, Tamar Braxton reminds black women that “We have the opportunity to EVOLVE” and that black and brown women should use this time to focus more on mental wellness.
It has been a month and some days since Tamar Braxton has been hospitalized. Her story has made almost every black woman rethink their mental health and how important it is to take care of themselves. As a good friend said, “You can’t pour from an empty cup because then there will be nothing left for you.” Many of you can relate to that quote because you a mother, a friend, co-worker, sibling, student, babysitter, church-goer, activist, and so much more. However, being so many things at once for everybody else and nothing for yourself comes at a cost.
“It was witnessing the slow death of the woman I became that discourage my will to fight. I felt like I was no longer living.”
Tamar Braxton
From Tamar’s story and testimony, you can learn 3 important things to protect your mental better:
Find your support
On national sons’ day, Tamar posted a pic of her and Logan quoting, “God picked you
personally, for me cause he knew I needed a true Clyde.” Sometimes you may feel alone even with everybody around, but you have to consider who is there to really listen to you without you saying a word; that is your support system.
Give yourself a mental health day from your friends and family
Tamar asked black and brown women a question that needed an answer, “Ladies, have you ever felt like you put ALL of your time and love into your children, job, relationship, and family but often forget about yourself?” If you do not rest and find time for yourself, your body will do it for you. It cannot be stressed enough of how essential it is to find a minute, an hour, or a day to relax and decompress the daily stressors of your life. Sometimes you might have to question yourself; if I was not here, who would they ask to do it?
Remember to give thanks and to acknowledge when something is different with you.
Tamar gave significant thanks to all who prayed for her, stood by her, and helped during this time. “It is my only responsibility to be real with myself and to be real with the ones who truly love me and care for my healing.” Sometimes you can get caught up in the multitasker’s life that you forget to give thanks to those that have been there for you religiously. Even the smallest gratitude and honesty to self can go a long way.
Of course, there is more to learn about mental health and how to stop stigmas and promote better wellness. However, for now, these are three major takeaways that black women must endure to maintain stability in their lives if they want to continue fighting for and love the world.
A great resource to follow-up on for black and brown women is IG: @no_moremartys, a mental health awareness campaign that builds a community of black women for support and addresses mental health concerns.
Adezza DuBose is a lover of love and mental health speaker. She thrives in uplifting black people and hyping them up to be the best version of themselves. She is a poet, author, and blogger and enjoys eating seafood and vegan food.
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