As a native of Memphis, life began as anything but easy for Domonique Matthews. She was raised as the youngest daughter of a Pastor known as “The Cussing Pastor.” Her journey early on meant battling to overcome depression, public humiliation, abandonment, & father issues to name a few. Becoming a mother for the first time at 16 was scary, to say the least, but instead of succumbing to her fears, she allowed her pregnancy to strengthen her, and she did whatever it took to provide for her soon-to-be son. She worked tirelessly to become the entrepreneur she is now as a successful life insurance broker in addition to going back to school to obtain her Bachelor’s Degree in Criminal Justice in 2013. This current success did not come easy. Let’s dive into our conversation with her in a recent interview.
What were some of the advantages & disadvantages of growing up as the youngest daughter of a public figure?
I honestly cannot think of many advantages of being a public figure’s daughter other than meeting people who recognize me & who are fans of my father. The disadvantage is my safety because my father is controversial, meaning, he has angered many people. Being the daughter seen with him the most or talked about resulted in me becoming a target. In total, I have had 6 stalkers, only one of whom has been charged. |” I have also been fired from a job just because of who my father was”. I dealt with a lot of public humiliation. People would call into my father’s show to get a reaction out of him, they would say lots of crazy things about me. My father & I also had a public falling out that was all over social media platforms.
You are a “PK” as we commonly say, share with us the pressures of growing up as a Preacher’s Kid.
Being a “PK” did not put much pressure on me. I always wanted to show people that I am human & not some local celebrity. I go through the same trials that most go through however, “I am God’s Child”.
You believe it is a part of your mission to help other young women overcome mental health issues and heal from past trauma, what has been your self-care routine and advice for those facing past traumas?
I do believe it is my God-given mission to help more young ladies. I would often receive inboxes from ladies saying I inspire them & they aspire to be like me. Their comments caused me to be so taken aback because I was “literally Just Being Myself”. I have been told I make it look easy however, I asked God why he allowed me to go through so many challenges & hardships such as domestic violence, failed relationships, facing two pregnancies alone & single motherhood to name a few in addition to my health complications. There have been times when Lupus made me feel as if death would be easier. However, God gave me a purpose to keep going. I have been called to share my story & raise my boys as only I can. I had to get better for them if I could not do it for myself. You’ve got to trust that God will never put more on you than you can bear. You will get through this!
The title of your book is interesting to me. Can you explain more about “A Ladies Burn Book”?
As a result of going through my depression, in addition to my natural connection towards Journaling, I would make many entries regularly. I would go into my closet & make videos of myself crying & expressing myself then delete them. A Ladies’ Burn Book is a self-care book to help women express their most internal thoughts. It provides instructions on how to move forward, and how to forgive yourself & others. It gives about 18 typical situations that most women go through & provides a safe space to write your secrets on because to get to the next level you must let go of your past, you can only heal by letting go. Burning the book is a symbolic action of that process.
My mother is a cervical cancer survivor & my aunt has Lupus; how did you deal with those diagnoses?
When I was diagnosed with cervical cancer, I was about 18, and I don’t think I fully understood how serious things could get because I had my mother to guide me through it as well as great doctors who made me feel like it was just something I was going to get through. My diagnosis of Lupus was the scariest because I woke up one morning, and my gums were swollen, my mouth hurt, I was covered with rashes, and my entire body ached. I was so down; I remember going to the dentist at 21 & learning that I had been dropped from my mom’s insurance. There was nothing they could do for me. Eventually, I was finally able to visit a doctor thankfully & that’s when I found out they had already tested me prior for Lupus & the results were positive. She tried her best to explain to me what life was going to be like, but I could not wrap my head around it all at the time.
You have two sons ages 17 & 2, what do you enjoy most about motherhood and how does the age gap work between the two siblings?
I enjoy watching them growing up and the excitement they add to my life. My 17-year-old is going off to college this week & it is a special time for him. I have provided him with the experiences I would’ve dreamt of myself & that is a rewarding feeling as a parent. He is my rock & the best son a mother could ever have. My two-year-old is so full of life & extremely kind when he looks at his brother his entire world lights up. They are very close & every time that door opens my youngest runs screaming “Brother “with open arms, and their own personal handshake. With them being 15 years apart I get to spoil them on two different levels. Spoiling my 17- Year-Old was buying him a car or the latest shoes he wanted. Spoiling my two-year-old is the new Spider-Man car seat or iPad. After my oldest’s birth, I promised that I would not have another child until I was married. I thought that was going to be the case, but things didn’t work out that way. I had no idea that I would become a mother again 15 years later lol!
What quote would you say represents where you are right now?
“She remembered who she was, then she changed the game.”
Domonique is thriving and paying it forward to other women & single mothers. If you would like to know more follow her on Instagram or for details on how to order her book, A Ladies Burn Book you can also follow her on Facebook.
