Yikes! I know you read the headline and was like, what are we doing here Sis!
Well, what we are doing is giving some of these men what they really want…our freaking panties!
Now sis what are these men supposed to be doing with our panties?
(Before we proceed, I know it’s a lot of sensitive men these days so let me just say that if you don’t fit the description in this article then this ain’t about you! )
They should be wearing them these days because clearly the dating pool is filled with not only urine but some men who don’t want the responsibility of being a man to you. The game has changed and it seems that gone are the days when men wanted to take care of a woman and be her provider. Today the average man in his late 20s to early 40s is asking for you to make it 50/50. He wants you to be independent! He wants a woman who doesn’t need him for anything because she should be able to take care of herself without asking him to help her with anything, especially financially.
He also wants her to still show him that she needs a man because if she doesn’t then she is considered to come off as too masculine and henceforth will be labeled as such. Yet if she comes off as needing him too much then now she is either needy or a gold digger. He wants her to also help him pay his bills and pay for the date sometimes. (Let me say that there is nothing wrong with paying for the date sometimes if you have a good man who is not trying to use you for your money)
One guy stated, how can I put a new tire on your car if my car needs a new tire too and how can I help you pay your bills and my bills too?!
Another guy said “this ain’t the 1950s! “
Yet these are the same men yelling how they want women like their grandma but they don’t want to do anything their grandfathers did for grandma.
See grandpa was a provider. He rose early in the morning to head to work and make sure that money was coming into the house. He paid ALL the bills and put food on the table for all his children. Grandma simply had to make sure the food was cooked on time for him and the children and kept the house clean.
There was no 50/50 in the household when it came to handling the finances during that time, but I get it, today women and men are both working and bringing in income so the men ask, well if I’m paying all the bills then what is she doing with her money?!
Well, my dear King, a real woman who is being taken care of and provided for is going to offer help with bills and make sure money is going into the savings anyway. She will not watch you suffer. She will be exactly what God ordained her to be, a helpmate to you.
See so many men are honestly scarred and wounded soldiers walking around looking for a mate but have failed to heal themselves first from the mess they have been through. Instead of healing and choosing to remain the good men they know to be, they are morphing into something more feminine. Meaning throwing in the pants and looking for women to take care of them or basically letting them do as they please with no strings attached or any responsibilities to meet your needs.
Many of these men were raised in single-parent homes, and they watched their mothers do it alone with no help. They watched her let different men come in the house and treat her any kind of way, not pay bills but yet their mom still gave these men sex and a hot meal on the table.
So now they feel that the women they date should be just like mom and he will play the role of the sorry men who were in her life that should have helped but refused to.
Honey, some of these men have had enough with you wanting him to come in and take care of you and they feel that giving them some oochie wala should be a given… even if he doesn’t help you out with any bills when you ask him to.
I know ladies you were taught that no man should be laying up with you for free but some men ask, does this now mean I’m paying you for sex like a prostitute?! Remember that’s what he saw at home with his single mother. It’s also the reason they can make babies and leave the woman to do it by herself because that’s what happened to his single mother.
This is why if some of our men do not go seek therapy for childhood trauma and relationship failures then our men will continue to decline in masculinity. The divine structure collapses.
And we as women will find ourselves shopping for him a pair of panties instead of boxers. Now this by no means is an attack on all men…because there are some good men out there who do not agree with the way some of these foolish men think today.
There are some amazing men who still believe in being the provider and taking care of their Queen. He makes it very clear who wears the pants in the relationship and honey he is out to put a ring on the finger and not waste your time with silly games.
I use to feel it was the men born after the 90s destroying relationships today but honestly, it started with the men born after the 1980s. This generation of men who despite being raised up on love songs and witnessing a mass of destruction to the black family during the crack era have decided to give up on being the men they know their mothers deserved and the men their now women and children deserve.
It’s now men who are selfish, boastful, full of pride, and more interested in having their ego stroked and the shaft between their legs rather than rise up and be the head of the house.
At this rate, marriage for the single woman will become a dream that she hopes to one day have because she doesn’t have much to choose from or she will find herself settling for men who don’t really deserve the time of day just to say she has a man.
Please Queen don’t settle…if he wants to wear your panties in the relationship…just keep it moving because I still believe there are good men out there who will treat you as you should be treated. He will provide without question and he will meet your needs just because he loves you and knows you are worthy of his affection.
