There is a ton of talent that hailed from the streets of New York. There’s even more trauma, especially in the communities of color, the projects, and hoods. DMX’s start in life appeared to be very painful from birth to death. His lyrics, “…the frustration, rage, trapped inside a cage” sums it up. As we celebrate the life and legacy of Earl “DMX” Simmons we can’t forget either fact. DMX, as he was so affectionately called, was the epitome of talent and trauma.
Learning about the passing of DMX was bittersweet. Honestly, the emotions I experienced were surprising and intense. Ironically, this sentiment was shared among many worldwide. The loss of another Black man, a great entertainer, was devastating and sad. But the fact that he was no longer in pain was a relief. DMX had been very open about his traumatic life experiences: his disconnection from his mom at a very early age; his mom breaking out his front teeth with a broom handle when he was six years old; his incarcerations; and lifelong battle with drug addiction that began when he was tricked by a trusted friend, his mentor into smoking crack. He couldn’t trust his parents, he couldn’t trust his mentor, he was angry, but most of all talented.
Sometimes we feel pain and rage like DMX and either cannot identify the source of the emotions and/or reason for it. Being Black in America is enough to wake up every day angry and in pain. Today was one of those days, so I got in my truck, rolled the windows down and hit some DMX. The lyrics that stood out the most were “fight these tears” and “the frustration, rage, trapped inside a cage”. There is a large majority of us that feel the same way.
From a mental health perspective, DMX and his mom never formed a healthy attachment at birth or during childhood. He was angry and in pain most of his life. Anger is usually the result of feeling a much more vulnerable emotion, like fear, humiliation, rejection, frustration, or hurt. All of which DMX has experienced on numerous occasions according to his account of details. He learned trust didn’t exist. He normalized betrayal. He poured all of his emotions into his lyrics and those lyrics were cries for help.
I have always said, the hardest job in the world is that of a Black man. They are browbeaten, bullied, and torn down daily in the workplace. Only to go home and feel as if they can’t be transparent for fear of being judged and not respected. Not to mention the constant worry if they will actually make it home daily due to this nation’s challenges with social injustice. Society has created the norm that men ignore feelings and God forbid if they cry, that’s breaking the cardinal rule of manhood. When in actuality, men, like women, need to understand and exhibit emotions, learn to use effective communication, and feel comfortable being who they are.
Good mental health begins in childhood where boys and girls should be taught it’s ok to have and exhibit emotions versus ridiculing boys for “feeling” or “acting like a girl”.
The Black community, Black men have to get rid of the stigma that comes with allowing themselves to feel and be emotional beings. Mental health is a part of who we are and we have to take it seriously and accept the importance of it. Unfortunately, DMX will not have that chance, may he rest in peace.
Image Credit: Getty images
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