Meet Nubia Younge, mom, expat, travel consultant, international events coordinator, and expat coach. If you’re wondering why Tulum, Mexico has been on and poppin’ for the last ten months it’s because of her. Nubia hosts events for Black and Brown people visiting Tulum. And let me tell you these events are lit AF. Thanks to Nubia and her Facebook group Black In Tulum my birthday week in Mexico was nothing but amazing. I met so many other solo female travelers and other travelers just by connecting with them in the group. I celebrated my birthday all week long with travelers that shared my same birthday or within the same week. I never felt like I was alone, I was constantly running into people from the group all over Tulum. At the beach, a cenote, a restaurant, a bar, a yacht party, or even at the ice cream shop. We were everywhere. I have never seen so many people of color visiting a foreign country, let alone in the same city.
Nubia Younge is a quintessential global connector and the CEO and Founder of Black In Tulum. A community for melanated travelers to gain resources and recommendations in Mexico. Specifically, Tulum, Mexico. This single mother of two is also an international events coordinator, expat coach, and Podcaster. She has lived on 4 continents and explored 43 countries, facilitating intercultural connections, and documenting her love for food and adventure. She has been featured in Elle Magazine, VICE, Travel and Leisure, Nomadic Matt, and many other digital media platforms.
Nubia is passionate about helping women create their own realities to do what they love, unapologetically! She believes, “You’re never too old, and it’s never too late to create your reality!”
FEMI magazine sat down with Nubia Younge, a solo Black female traveler on a mission to inspire Gen X professionals about her journey as a Black expat. She shares how she created Black In Tulum, and her advice for women who want to live abroad.
How did you start your journey as an expat?
I didn’t own a passport until I was 31. One of my relatives got married in London. That was the first opportunity I had to travel abroad. I didn’t feel like I could afford to travel, and when I did check with friends to book a trip, they were all in until money was due. Then everyone dropped out! I ended up joining a travel group on Facebook called Nomadness Tribe. I had learned so much about travel through the group. The members of the group were young professional men and women who were passionate about travel and educating one another on how to travel differently. I fell in love with the group and with travel. In 2 years after obtaining my passport, I had traveled to 16 countries. With every country that I traveled to, something inside me wanted to stay longer. I was growing tired of 2, 3, 4 days vacations. I wanted to immerse myself in the country and learn more, however, the longest trip I took at the time was about 10-days. I wanted to travel for longer periods of time, but working full-time, I didn’t know how I could.
It wasn’t until I was in my mid 30’s when I started researching about becoming an expat. During my time searching Google and YouTube, I couldn’t find anyone that looked like me. Everyone I ran across were young, white millennials backpacking South East Asia on $10 a day. I couldn’t relate to any of them. Here I was, a Gen X woman of color looking to explore the world and I couldn’t find any representations of other Gen X professionals like me living abroad. There was this impulsive energy inside of me, telling me I got to go. I would have moments where I was talking to my young adult children, asking them “Do you want to live abroad?” My daughter mentioned moving to London. I was like, “You don’t have London money, LOL.” I started looking for places that were affordable. It wasn’t until I was 38, that I decided it was time for me to try my luck at becoming an expat. I was in school taking classes at the community college, my daughter was in her first year of college, and my son was about to graduate high school the following year. Everything around me seemed to be in alignment for me to leave. Then everything truly came to a head. My job laid me off at the beginning of 2017. My daughter and I were having problems. I was agitated. I wasn’t fulfilled. I wasn’t happy. It felt as if the universe placed roadblocks in my way. Everything seemed to be falling apart. But that nagging feeling inside of me kept saying “You got to go.” But go where?
A friend of mine asked me, “If I was familiar with numerology and astrology? How do you feel about psychics?” She referred me to a psychic that she had used in the past and I decided to make an appointment.I went to see a psychic for the first time, and I was a pretty huge skeptic at the time, but this woman made me a believer! One of the first things the physic told me was that I don’t belong here. She said, “I have a nomadic spirit and I am supposed to be traveling the world.” She said she didn’t have a geographical location for me, but that I don’t belong in the U.S. Her words were that “I am happiest when you are out about the world.” When you think about it, it makes sense. I’m a Sagittarius. And Sagittarians are adventurous and wanderers by nature. After my reading, I chose to give South East Asia a try. Mainly because it was one of the least expensive locations and I had never been. I wanted to challenge myself. I decided to embark on a spiritual journey.
How do your kids feel about you living abroad? What was that transition like?
My kids weren’t necessarily surprised when I decided to leave. I believe they thought I was talking at the time. I used to say, “Let’s move! Let’s do it.” And the kids were like, “Nah, I’m good.” It was more of a shock to people that I left without them, more than that I had left. They knew their mom was an adventurer and that when I say I’m going to do something, I stick to it. At the time, I was really irritable. I knew that I had to do this for me, or I wouldn’t go. I didn’t care about anything else at that moment. I knew it was now or never. I had to put myself first.
What did self-care look like before becoming an expat and how has it changed since you adopted the lifestyle?
To be honest, self-care in the States meant spending $85 on a manicure and pedicure. It looked like me going out to happy hour after work to decompress and keeping a bottle of wine on my nightstand. All of these things are fine, but when you do them in excess, it becomes unhealthy. Alcoholism is prevalent in my family, so I had to literally check myself. Sometimes your vices are unhealthy – whether it’s overeating, not eating, or drinking. I lived in the D.C. area and was going to happy hours all the time. Then I would go to brunch on Sunday from 11 AM and be out until 10 PM. That’s a lot of drinking! The D.C. brunch culture is a whole vibe. So, to me, that was my self-care.
Self-care for me now is waking up every morning at 6 AM. Go up to my rooftop and watch the sunrise. I take moments in the evening to stop and look at the moon. I have a masseuse come to my house once a month. I get my manicures and pedicures for half the price. My entire self-care routine looks a lot different now. I learned that “me time” is valuable and much needed. Before, I felt like I had to be everywhere and do everything. But now, I schedule time for me. And if that means I wake up and turn my phone off – that’s okay because I need that. I realize my social meter isn’t as deep as it was before.
Do you feel like you’re more your authentic self now? What did you think was holding you back before taking this leap?
Yes. I am much more aware of who I am and who I am evolving into. This process wasn’t the easiest. I cried a lot. I still do sometimes. But when you are evolving to your true self, so much gets taken from you that you think is supposed to be there. People. Things. I had an unhealthy relationship with materialistic stuff. I had a double closet full of clothes, but I could never find anything to wear. I had 100 pairs of shoes. Literally. Accessories were my thing. I was really connected to materialistic stuff. So, as I started shedding stuff, I was crying, because I felt like I was losing so much.
People that I thought were my friends were disappearing or not calling to check on me. I started becoming more aware of my surroundings, more observant, and not just going with the flow, but really sitting back and asking myself “Does this make sense to me?”, “Does this feel good?”, “Does this person make me feel good?” I started to learn how to tap into my intuition. We know red flags. It’s like being in a relationship and you break up, you’re devasted. But are you really devasted? No, because you ignored the red flags and made excuses for that person’s behavior. I don’t do that anymore. If they’re gone, they are gone. It’s not my loss, it’s theirs. And I had to learn to be okay with that.
I’m finally on another level and I’m just getting started. It took me four years of being abroad to learn all of this. My first year I cried many times. None of my friends or family were even asking how I was doing! Here I was, a solo, single, Black female traveler, aboard for the first time, but nobody was checking for me. It wasn’t until I started sharing my story, and growing a following. That was when people started to hit me up and I started to build community.
What inspired you to create the Black In Tulum and Blaxit Tribe Facebook Group?
Black in Tulum literally happened by chance. It was right at the height of the pandemic. I was living in Playa Del Carmen at the time. As soon as the Mexican Government began allowing people to travel within the states, I hauled ass to Tulum because I needed to be around nature. If anyone has been to Playa del Carmen, it’s a city. I had been quarantined in a city for months and needed to be around greenery, birds chirping, and anything that fueled my soul. So, I up and moved to Tulum.
I started receiving messages from people who were interested in visiting Tulum. So, I decided to host a brunch. I had invited a couple of Black travelers who I knew were in Tulum. It was 8 people; it was nice, and we had a wonderful time. My guest shared that I had shown them Tulum in a different light and that they felt they would have never received this type of experience had I not shown them. Whatever I did – even if it was in the States or a different country. I always brought something new to someone’s life. So, since that brunch was so successful, I hosted another brunch. This time approximately 25 people showed up. It wasn’t until I met a family, that drove from Merida, Mexico, which is 3 hours outside of Tulum, that’s when I knew something is here. At this brunch, I asked everyone, “If I started a Facebook group that hosts events in Tulum would you support me?” Everyone said, “Yes.” That was 18 months ago and now we are almost 14K members strong.
While I was building Black in Tulum, an acquaintance of mine who lives in Kenya, started a group called Blaxit Tribe. I reached out to her and said, “I love this group, but we can do more with it.” At the time, the group had approximately 100 people. She brought me on as a co-founder and Blaxit Tribe is now over 13K members strong. Another one of my acquaintances pointed out that I was a community builder and that I had always been a community builder. I had this whole network of people who were relying on my knowledge and expertise of a place and I wasn’t capitalizing on it at all. Making money wasn’t my first priority, I really enjoyed sharing resources and helping others. It wasn’t until I decided to start helping people transition abroad, that I opened a coaching platform called Novice 2 Nomad. I truly believe that the opportunities continue to present themselves and continue to grow because I genuinely love what I do. I didn’t come into Black in Tulum with the notion of creating a brand and a business. We are a community!
What do you envision for Black In Tulum in the future?
Black In Tulum is a movement. This community grew during the pandemic when Black Americans needed a place to escape. They were looking for refuge. What’s happening in the States is disgusting. I wanted to show people that they can thrive abroad. It doesn’t have to look linear. I want to be able to get Black In Tulum to a level that is not just Tulum, it’s national and worldwide. I’ve lived on 4 continents. I want to show that Black people are everywhere, and if we’re not there, we can create a community anywhere! Black In Tulum showed me I can create anything, anywhere. I want people to see that. All you have to do is believe in yourself, manifest, sit at the right tables, and let go of the people who are holding you back from creating your own reality. I want to continue to build Black In Tulum as a gateway to a worldwide Black travel movement.
What advice do you have for women wanting to live abroad?
It starts with a mindset shift. Be vocal about what you want. Tell the universe, God, or whoever your higher-being is, what you want. Be very clear. Intentional. Manifestation is real. Manifest that shit. Speak it. Pray on it. Your words are powerful.
If you could choose three words to describe who you are now what would they be?
Connector. I realized connecting people directly or indirectly is my purpose. I am meant to connect people with other people and opportunities. Authentic. I am very transparent about my story. It took a while because I didn’t know how my story would be perceived. When I began stepping into my authentic self, I stopped worrying about how other people viewed me, that’s when my community opened up. People were able to resonate and relate to me. My last word would be Hospitality. When people come to a Black In Tulum event and meet me, it’s almost like they’ve known me forever. I ensure there is a certain level of hospitality that I bring that sets me apart from everyone else. I want my members and guest to be happy. I take the time to meet and greet each of my guests. I check in on them to make sure they are enjoying themselves. I truly want to see people enjoy their lives.
What is one lesson you learned throughout your journey as a black expat?
I learned to be more patient. I think in the States we are so quick to react and don’t take enough time to breathe and enjoy our surroundings. We are conditioned to believe that everyone has an ulterior motive. This way of thinking keeps everyone on edge and ridden with anxiety. That anxiety then brings other ailments. Before I left the Un-United States I was pre-diabetic, depressed, and considered clinically obese. After moving abroad, I had access to healthier foods, I learned to meditate, and to breathe through situations instead of reacting. I learned how to chill and not let things overwhelm me as much. That’s not to say that I never get overwhelmed at times, but I am able to articulate how I’m feeling in a much better way now. As a parent, it was my duty to make sure my kids had everything they needed. As a friend, I had to make sure my friends were okay. I spent so much of my life making sure everyone else was good, but in the end, I wasn’t good. So, I learned how to tap into self – what I feel and what I needed. I listen to my body and my intuition a lot more now. I learned to make myself a priority and most recently I’ve learned not to give people so much access to me.
As travel is opening up and if you are planning to visit Mexico, head to Tulum and check out one of Nubia’s events. I promise you – you won’t be disappointed.
Image Credits: Nubia Younge; Black In Tulum
Follow Us On Social Media!
