Let’s be honest—who among us hasn’t stared at a thirst trap on Instagram posted by a single celebrity and thought, “You know what? I could be the one.”
It usually starts harmlessly enough. You’re lying in bed, scrolling through your feed, and boom—there they are. Your celeb crush. Looking fine. Laughing on a yacht. Posting some cryptic caption like “Good vibes only” as if they’re not also responsible for ruining your productivity for the next hour.
Suddenly, a voice in your head whispers, “Shoot your shot.” And for some reason, despite being in your bonnet and mismatched pajamas, you believe that tonight is your night.
Now, sliding into a celebrity’s DMs is a spiritual experience. You don’t just send a message—you craft it. Do you go with the humble “Hey”? The bold “You single?” Or do you hit ’em with the poetic “God took His time with you” and hope it lands?
You stare at the screen, rereading your message like it’s a college thesis. You delete it. Rewrite it. Add an emoji. Remove the emoji. Send it. Panic. Throw your phone.
And then comes the wait. Will they see it? Will they reply? Will you be flown out and introduced to Beyoncé at a Roc Nation brunch next weekend?
Spoiler alert: probably not.
But let’s talk odds here. Technically, celebrities are human. They can see DMs. Some even respond—especially when they’re single and bored. Just ask that one girl who married the guy she met in Drake’s comments (you know she exists somewhere).
There’s always that sliver of hope that you’ll catch them in a moment of weakness—or at least during their “respond to fans” phase at 2 a.m. when they’re eating Hot Cheetos and lurking on their tagged photos.
For the fellas: yes, you might think Rihanna is too busy to see your “You up?” message… but if you happen to catch her post-A$AP breakup and she’s feeling spicy, who knows?
Ladies: it’s okay if you’ve heart-reacted to every single one of Michael B. Jordan’s stories since 2018. If he leaves you on “seen,” just know he’s missing out.
The truth is, shooting your shot at a celebrity is less about expecting a reply and more about believing in miracles. It’s hope. It’s delusion. It’s…kind of iconic.
So go ahead. Slide into that DM. Tell Keke Palmer she’s glowing. Tell Damson Idris you made gumbo and there’s an extra plate. You never know. Stranger things have happened (and no, I don’t just mean the show).
And if you do get a response? Screenshot it. Frame it. Pass it down to your grandchildren. Because in the game of “Who Will Respond to My DM?”—you just might win.
Now tell me: who’s the wildest celebrity you’ve ever shot your shot at? Don’t lie—we’re all friends here.
