If COVID-19 has not already put a damp in your parade for vacations, parties, and other celebrations, then this will surely make you flatline! According to the CDC guidelines, though having sex is the least common way of catching the Corona. It is suggested for everyone to practice safer sex through wearing a mask, avoid kissing and staying in large ventilated areas. For intimate people, no more cars or small public places, and the open and free, go wild! However, there is hope for those that want to wear masks, you know, to be on the safer side. Lastly, for those who have sexual frustrations and do not understand why, you have come to the right read.
Introducing, Machel Hunt, aka the sex doc, a licensed psychosexual therapist that promotes healthy relationships and sexual lifestyles. Hunt gives FEMI Magazine readers some tips and encouragement on maintaining those healthy relationships or starting one during this pandemic. You may have seen Machel on Fox News, Bravo, or even Sky TV. He steadily shares his expertise on taboo things to talk about outside the Relationship, such as sex, dynamics of the relationships, and relationship issues. With over 17 years of experience and working in the UK and the United States, Hunt is the best man to learn from and seek therapy for various things. Hunt interviewed with FEMI Magazine to share his professional thoughts and help stop the stigmas and shame on seeking help before, during, and after relationships.
Do people only need to come to you when there are problems in their relationships?
Not at all, there is a common misconception (myth) that therapy is for when things go wrong. However, treatment is a healthy way of maintaining a relationship and emotional well being. It also helps to minimize stressors that may lead to mental health concerns and emotional breakdowns. Therapy is helpful, whether you are in a relationship or single. It is part of vital self-care and wellness maintenance.
What tips or words of encouragement do you give others that may feel ashamed or guilty about therapy?
Therapy should be an essential part of self-care. Think about it as going to the dentist to maintain good oral hygiene or going to the nail salon to get a regular manicure. It’s not only for people who have recognized their issues and/or limitations. Everyone can benefit from having some form of therapy. The guilt and/or shame is definitely ingrained, but that can be reconciled in therapy.
What is the importance of having a relationship and sex therapist?
During a lasting relationship, it is normal to face challenges and stressors, as well as many important decisions and growth points. Sometimes couples discover that their ability to communicate and relate deeply has become impaired. This is one of the important reasons for having a relationship therapist or a couple’s counselor. Having a professional with an objective viewpoint and an unbiased perspective can help open up communication lines and move towards understanding what each individual is experiencing. Some of the difficulties that can be solved with a relationship counselor and sex therapist are – low libido/low sex drive, cheating/infidelity, jealousy/anger/resentment, dependency/co-dependency, sexual disconnection, arguments that never get resolved, trust issues, pre-mature ejaculation/erectile difficulties, arousal disorders among many others.
CDC COVID-19 guidelines for sex are pretty detailed, especially for those that are not monogamous. What are your thoughts and tips for having sex with multiple people and the COVID-19 guidelines?
My thoughts are to keep safety first as your priority. Think about limiting your number of casual and/or random sexual partners. Ensure you have conversations with your partner about COVID safety, ask about symptoms, and whether they have been in contact with anyone who may have symptoms. If you can wear a mask, you should, and there are very creative ways you can incorporate your mask into your sexual escapades.
In your professional opinion, do you believe that COVID-19 will diminish intimate relationships and overall mental wellness, or do you think that it will increase the needs of intimacy and general mental health?
So, COVID has affected many people in many ways. It is important to recognize that couples who had issues prior to COVID may have seen those issues exacerbated due to the uncertainty and stresses associated with a global pandemic. Likewise, some couples and individuals who may not have noticed any problems or issues before COVID may find themselves arguing more and dealing with a lot more confrontations due to the changes that COVID caused with the economy, healthcare and schooling. Intimacy is dependent on many factors, such as emotional needs, social needs, finances, health, children, connection, bonding, etc. I believe that COVID can and may impact intimacy, but ultimately, if the couple is strong enough to endure all those changes, then they will be able to work on getting the intimacy back.
Lastly, if a single person wants to begin dating, but have issues with their sex life, what suggestions would you give?
I would suggest speaking a psychosexual therapist about your issues before they get worst. Often, when we try to self-medicate (or heal), it can cause more harm than good. In particular, with sexual issues, the more you try and fail, it is more likely that you may develop performance anxiety relating to your sexual experience.
So, Ladies and gentlemen, gather your protection and YOUR protection and let us get into this therapy. Remember, therapy is just not for when things are going wrong, but for when you are at a standstill or want better for yourself.
For more information about the Relationship, therapy or have questions about psychosexual therapy, connect with Machel Hunt on IG: @relationshipandsexdoc
Adezza DuBose is a lover of love and mental health speaker. She thrives in uplifting black people and hyping them up to be the best version of themselves. She is a poet, author, and blogger and enjoys eating seafood and vegan food.
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