Cheating is not cheating – come again?
Yes, you read that right and if you’re confused by this statement you’re allowed to be. I had the exact, same, sentiments. Since its April release, the book “Cheating Is Not Cheating” has gone viral gaining attention with a five-star rating on Amazon. With structured arguments and examples, I cannot even think of a solid comeback. At first glance, the title of this book is eye-catching and a mindfuck, but don’t be too quick to judge a book by its cover.
The author, Naiym Wolf Dingle is a 27-year-old entrepreneur and Philadelphia native. Naiym debuted his book to help men and women understand each other. He believes if we take the time to better understand ourselves, we better understand the opposite sex. In the book, Naiym discusses dating, relationships, mistakes men and women both make, and human behavioral studies to understand the “why” of human nature.
In a recent conversation with Naiym, he discusses how his book came to be, the differences in how men and women cheat, the psyche of men and women, and future writing projects.
Since the release of his book, Naiym, also known as the “Wolf,” on social media, has grown his following with now forty thousand followers. Naiym says referring to himself as a wolf is symbolic. “My friends and I refer to ourselves as wolves. We move around like a pack. I’m a leader, the innate character of a wolf is unity, loyalty, leadership, and love. I have the same characteristics and it resonated with me. Naiym also wanted to broaden his horizon as he had a different name from a history in the rap industry.
Naiym has always been a writer. He took journalism in high school and majored in English in college. Naiym initially aspired to be a lawyer or a teacher, but at the time he didn’t see it as a career. Fast forward to 2014-2016, Naiym says, “I wrote two seasons of a web show on YouTube and one and a half seasons aired. At the time, a mentor encouraged me to continue writing.” It was not until Naiym starting writing scripts he discovered his passion for writing.
When asked about creating “Cheating Is Not Cheating” and what writing the book taught him, Naiym says “the book came about because I was always the go-to person for relationship advice and advice in general. I found myself having the same conversation with other people and decided to write the book. I wanted something I can leave behind as my legacy. It forced me to ask myself what is cheating. I was going to write about my experiences of cheating, but I didn’t want to talk about myself. The book wasn’t written in chronological order, I started writing chapter three; through the development of the book, I discovered there are no universal laws to cheating.”
In the book, Naiym says he has not considered what is cheating but his relationships have helped him increased his boundaries for cheating. He explained his “first relationship was in college and we didn’t know each other well. We as humans are less likely to accept change. I was uncomfortable with a lot of things internally whether it was communicated or not. For example, social media can be a catalyst for change, and it enhanced my fear of cheating, and it happened. My second relationship helped me be more free-spirited. I learned to let people be who they are. Love is an adjustment, not a compromise. How much does this adjustment affect me?”
Naiym also gets creative when explaining the concept of cheating by using the analogy of crime. He uses crime as an analogy because crime triggers emotions and it is similar to relationships. Naiym says, “Why can’t there be different levels of cheating just like murder? Crime is universal and there are so many elements to the law so its equivalent to cheating.” Naiym believes if he can take something that we all can understand, and break it down in smaller details, then he can tie it into what is considered a relationship crime.
Later in the book, Naiym discusses the concepts of pride and ego. He states “pride has no boundaries when it comes to protecting ourselves from our moral compass, it amplifies the smallest of problems by making you think it goes against your moral compass. The only way to weaken your pride is by understanding your moral compass.” With that said, Naiym goes onto say establishing “pride boundaries” comes down to your morals. “If you call someone a “B”, that’s not disrespect, it’s a boundary. You need to be aligned with your morals. What are your morals? What will you not stand for? If you’re not living or dying for it, that’s a boundary.”
Naiym hasseveral writing projects in the works, while he could not disclose what they are, he says if he had to make a sequel to “Cheating Is Not Cheating”, it would be titled “Cheating Is Still Not Cheating”.
Stay tuned y’all, fans of the book can expect more writing from Naiym in the future.
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