Many people are still buzzing about the latest Red Table Talk where Jada and Will sit down to share their side of August and Jada’s relationship (or should I say entanglement). I truly do believe that entanglement will be the new thing replacing what we call situationships. The whole thing was kind of hard to watch if you ask me but I respect her for sitting down and giving her side of the story. Although the situation seems very messy, in my opinion they dropped a lot of life gems in this discussion. I think a lot of people who are in a new relationship or been married for years can take some of these lessons and apply it in their own life. Or at least use it as a cautionary tale.
Jada addresses it at the beginning of the interview but I think it’s a very important piece to all this.
- You can’t find happiness outside of yourself.
If you don’t take anything else away from that talk, make sure you take that. I think more people struggle with this more than they want to admit. People think that getting married or getting into a relationship will solve all the problems that they have been struggling with. Here comes another person to either help you fix yourself or do the work completely. That way of thinking is selfish and destructive to you and other parties involved. Not to mention lazy. Everyone may be struggling with something and carrying a load they can barely handle. How dare you come add your load and baggage to it. Finding happiness within yourself for some people maybe a hard road and it looks different for many people. Jada is a perfect example of someone who has money, is looked to as a role model for some women and has Will Smith as a husband and still went through the same struggle.
I’m not saying that you can’t be in a healthy relationship ever if you haven’t reached this point yet. If that’s where you are and you meet someone don’t let that stop you. You need to be even more self-aware of this fact. You need to make sure you are not depending on this new person for that happiness or to make you whole. You should be honest that you’re still looking for your happiness outside of a relationship and working on putting together all the broken parts of you to be a better whole. Hopefully that other person is doing the same thing. Two halves do not make a whole in a healthy thriving relationship.
- Someone trying to heal someone when they haven’t healed themselves.
This is just the blind leading the blind. I think this is just avoidance in all its glory. It’s so much easier to help someone with their problems and issues instead of focusing on our own. Jada mentions that she does struggle with codependency. People with codependency gain their self-esteem form helping others and tend to attract people with problems. I think it’s great that she has identified this within herself and know this is something she has to work on. That was Jada’s issue, identifying whatever hurt you need to heal from may not always be as visible or transparent. It may be a past relationship, childhood trauma, issues with parents whatever it may be addressing it and working on it is always a step in the right direction.
- #RelationshipGoals is dead.
This may go without saying but we are going to address it anyways. No one is relationship goals. Everybody goes through shit. Some may be more public and some may be more private but we will never know what goes on behind closed doors. Never be envious of someone else’s relationship. I think everyone is chuckling at the J.Cole line, “I want a real love, dark skinned and Aunt Viv love
That Jada and that Will love.” You can see all the happy bliss on social media but behind that can be cheating, domestic violence all types of things. Everything that glitters ain’t gold. You don’t know what struggle some couples had to go through to get to their happy place. We see this all the time with celebrity couples, Beyoncé and Jay-Z, Will and Jada, and there’s a long list of others. Also what worked in that relationship may not work for you. What happens with you and your partner is your business. I appreciate them sharing what they went through with this experience but at the end of the day they didn’t have to. That is their business and theirs alone. Who are we to judge? Love yours and yours only. We need to appreciate the work that goes into a healthy relationship and not all the cute pics we see online.
For me, I wish we can get a sequel on more of how Jada is working on her codependency and taking steps to find happiness in herself. This would probably be beneficial for a lot of people to start their journey. Even though again a messy messy situation their story could have helped some else come to some realizations to better their life.
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