Before we start, let’s go on record to say that if you know you are not a bad father and you actually try to see your child and take care of them then the statements made in this article do not apply to you.
Every day in America, a woman is faced with a hard decision about choosing to keep an unborn child. That decision comes from a bad relationship encounter with a man who told her he loved her. He told her that he wanted them to have a baby together and that they would get married and raise the child together. Yet as soon as she ends up pregnant, his true side is revealed.
Now he wants her to get rid of the baby because he is “not ready for a baby right now”. So she is stuck choosing between keeping the life growing inside of her or having to deal with the potential life of having to raise her baby alone.
Many women make the choice to keep their baby regardless of the threats of the father. They know the challenges that await them in making this decision. It’s a painful journey and if you scroll on TikTok you are bound to come across a mother telling her story of how she is going through her pregnancy alone because the father didn’t want the child after getting her pregnant and convincing her they would be a family.
It’s truly heartbreaking because some of those videos include a mother holding her baby and crying and asking for the internet community to help her mentally to get through it. And please understand that not every woman who is raising a child alone, woke up and asked to be in that situation!
No one understands the pain of having to go through 9 months by yourself while the father is out doing whatever he chooses to do. He is not losing sleep over the fact that he has a baby on the way. And some are hiding that they even have a baby.
Imagine being pregnant and being verbally abused and manipulated and told all kinds of harsh things. Some men tell the woman that they hope their child doesn’t make it. Some text and call her the entire pregnancy saying so many harsh words in the hope her pressure will go up and she will be harmed or the baby. Oh yes, it’s some evil men out here and they play good guys to the public but behind closed doors, it’s a very dark spirit operating through them. You will be shocked at the things these women are told and some even become so depressed that they are suicidal during their pregnancy.
On top of that, she has to hear the rumors and lies of how she “trapped him” or “made him have a baby with her” when the entire time, he never used protection and told her the exact opposite of what he is telling his family and peers. He seems to be winning in convincing the community that she is a crazy woman who trapped him.
But let’s be real here, no woman laid on her back and forced you inside of her! She didn’t force you to ejaculate in her either without a condom! At any time you could have not opened your door and removed your clothes to lay down with her! So when I hear grown men say they got “trapped” with a baby, all I think about is the actions that took place to make her become pregnant by you in the first place.
So much humiliation she has to go through all because she chose to let her baby live! All because she believed a man really loved her and really wanted a child with her and wanted them to be a family.
More anger comes in when she is reaching out to the family of the man and trying to get them to help her through it, in hope that they will at least encourage him to do the right thing, yet she discovers that they support his foolish behavior. They ride around and lie to the woman claiming to know nothing of his whereabouts, claiming they don’t hear from him when the entire time, they are sitting right beside him. They participate in his poor behavior and they play on both sides of the fence trying to convince the mother they support them when they really don’t.
I never understood people teaming up against a pregnant woman or a mother who just wants the father to be in the child’s life. That’s a sort of evil that leaves you beyond words! You do not have to support someone in their wrong, blood or not! Wrong is wrong and when you support it, it says a lot about your character.
There is a scripture that says, as a man soweth, he shall reap. When you do bad or even team up with a person who is being spiteful against the mother of his child, you take on the consequences that will come from his actions.
Outside of dealing with family and him, she has to deal with the crazy quotes from society claiming she should have just kept her legs closed and “you chose to lay down with him so it’s your fault”.
Why is it her fault for believing a man loved her? Why is it her fault for believing that he wanted a child with her? Why is it her fault for choosing to not abort her baby? So now we blame these women for doing what is natural in nature. It’s natural to fall in love and believe the person you are in a relationship with is being sincere and honest with you. No one goes into a relationship believing their partner is a compulsive manipulating narcissistic womanizer who just likes to get women pregnant and leave them high and dry!
I’m sure if she knew he was that type of man, she would have never laid down with him. And let’s admit, some of these men are very good at manipulating a woman into thinking he is an amazing Father when she sees that he has other kids. He is picking up those kids and spending time with them in front of her. He is constantly telling her how he wants to be in their lives but sometimes he is not allowed to be.
Future red flag ladies, when a man says he has kids and the mother is not letting him see the child, always know that it is two sides to every story. The majority of the time, that’s the lie he is telling you so he can get sympathy from you. The truth is that he is mad at that mother because he can’t control her so he refuses to come to see the child as punishment to the mother. And when he tells you that the mother is crazy, ask him what makes him say that about the mother of his child and why is she acting crazy. Many of these men are behind the actions of that mother acting the way she does, but they won’t tell you that because they like to play the victim and they seek attention! He won’t tell you what he does to her or says to her. He won’t tell you when he sleeps with her and then ghosts her and the child and she finds out he is with another woman.
She is acting crazy because she has been in a constant battle to get him to come to see his child. She is acting crazy because he is not financially supporting his child and no matter how many times she reaches out to him to peacefully co-parent, he ignores her calls, refuses to talk, and she has to endure constant insults of being called names, and dealing with his verbal abuse. She is acting crazy because this man gets up each day and goes about his life as if his child does not exist and it is her alone at night staring at their child while he does whatever he wants. And she is acting crazy because he pops up in and out of the child’s life, and even goes back and forth telling her that he wants to be with her one day and then the next week he is ghosting her and the child.
These single mothers are not crazy or bitter! They are fed up with sorry men who go out and make babies and leave them to have to do it alone. These are hard-working, educated women who believe in family and have done everything to get the father to be involved yet he refuses.
Ladies you have to protect your temple! There are some men, not all but enough who just see you prospering and doing good in life, and they have a hidden agenda. They want to stop your progression, they want to stop you from shining and being successful by locking you down with a baby that they know they have no plans of being around if you don’t do as they want.
And for some, it’s their way of forever having a hold on you because they have a child with you. They know that no matter how much evil crap they do, they can tell the world that you refuse to let them see their child to get sympathy all while knowing they want nothing to do with the child. They want to forever have access and control of you.
They want to convince people that you are crazy when really it’s them! It’s them that are crazy for how they are treating their own flesh and blood, it’s crazy how they act like their child does not exist, it’s crazy they are mad at you because you want them to do better. It’s the jealous and controlling behavior she has to deal with from him that is crazy.
It’s hard out here and it’s even harder for single mothers to get up and stay positive and fight depression because of what the father is saying and doing. It’s enough to drive them mad at times. Because no one is holding these men accountable for what they do, they all just blame that mother.
If a woman abandons her child, she is called all kinds of names and bashed in public but when a man abandons his child, he gets a free pass and society says it’s her fault and everyone believes his lies about the woman. No one wants to hear her truth and what happens to a caged bird that can’t sing?!
Now she becomes known as being “bitter”, “crazy”, and so many other false narratives all because she believed she was loved by this man.
She has to live and watch him play house with another woman, she has to live knowing that one day her child is going to ask her why the dad does not come to see them or show up for birthday parties.
Single mothers go through pure hell behind closed doors. No one is paying attention or trying to hear their story. They just say move on.
It’s time more people stop watching that man do evil and say evil about the mother of the child and hold him accountable for being the sorry vessel he is! Start calling these men out on their mess and stop sitting back watching them talk and you know they are lying. Speak up for these women because they need more people to speak up for them!
I want to encourage people who know a mother that is raising her child alone to reach out, check on her and make sure she is okay because many are not okay.
If you are a single mother, I want to say I know how you feel. But trust that we serve a God who is bigger than your problem and he will move on your behalf. He will send you someone to help with your kids and be the father that your kids deserve. Shout out to step-parents who have stepped in the gap for years when absent parents refused to be in their rightful role. I know you are hurting, but better days are coming. And don’t be too hard on yourself for choosing to keep your baby, despite what that sperm donor says or does. You are so strong!
God is with you and you are not alone even if you feel like you are doing it by yourself. I know society has painted its negative picture of you and you have had to deal with rumors and lies about you from the father, but guess what, time always reveals the truth. People can tell bad spirits and they can see right through a man who is lying about you.
And be not confused or dismayed, God sees everything and says vengeance is his and he can fight harder than you, so don’t even give your energy to the matter of seeking revenge.
Thank God for your child and keep your head up because one day you will have a testimony about how God stepped in and sent you love like no other who loved you and your child(ren) and it will no longer matter to you or even that child about someone who chose to not be in their life.
Use this time in your life to pray and build yourself up so you can be that woman who is strong enough to open her heart again for the right man. Don’t let the poor actions of the father cause you to become cold and miss out on someone who has good intentions for you.
We hold men that spitefully mistreat, speak evil of the mother of their children, and refuse to help out or see their child on a regular, accountable!
We do not support your actions and we hope this article encourages people who see and know men like this to take a stand as a village to help change the narrative and let these types of men know they are the crazy ones who are missing out on the lives of their children. They are not hurting the mother, they are hurting innocent children! And for anyone who participates in laughing at that mother who is hurting or who rides around with the man supporting his actions or entertains conversations in bad-mouthing the mother of his child, you are the problem as well! You have no idea what is really going on and to involve yourself in his mess is setting yourself up for receiving his karma.
We are tired of people laughing at the pain of a single mother! Do better, because she did not wake up and choose this life!
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