FEMI Magazine’s Father’s Day Special on Fatherhood

Black Fathers matter so much. We know that over the years, society has tarnished the image of the black man in the home. Yet just as much as there are absent fathers, the world is full of those amazing dads who are always present in their kids’ lives. Involved dads have a direct impact on their children’s future. We understand that sometimes things happen and people do not stay together but that should never stop a man from involving himself in the growth and development of his child. We also understand that so many men that want to be in their child’s lives are often not able to, due to a lack of maturity at times on the mother’s end. Yet and still our kids need their Fathers and just going around having a bunch of kids does not make you a father, it takes being involved daily in the lives of your child(ren). We appreciate the men who are involved! A good father is always there to teach young boys how to be men and how to treat women and more importantly how to lead spiritually. He is also there to show his daughter the example of what a real man is and how she should be treated by a man. We know that often it is the mom that gets all the glory but there are some men out there that never miss a beat with their kids and no amount of money could ever make up for your presence and quality time with your child.

I had the pleasure to go around and ask some African American fathers what Fatherhood meant to them and why they felt it was important. Take a look at the awesome responses below!

Joseph Lewis -“Fatherhood is trying to give my kids everything I did and didn’t have as a child! Teaching my boys to be men and showing my daughter’s what a man is and who he should be to them! I also take pride in showing all my kids what hard work and dedication is, as well as how to have a good time as a family!”

Elric Jerel Simon – “Fatherhood to me means everything to me. To be your kid’s real-life superhero is the greatest feeling in the world. I love the fact that I am able to teach, raise, and create tomorrow’s leaders. Being in a position to build up a young king and show them the importance of loving and respecting their Queen is needed in today’s society and it is an honor and pleasure to hold this position. I have to show them by example what it is to be a man and the results of taking care of his family by any means necessary. They’ve witnessed the sacrifices that are made, the changes that I’ve made, and the hard work that I put in to ensure my children and their mother don’t want for anything. I am so blessed, to be a Father.” #JSimon

Dekonteé Allen -“As a father, I feel it’s my responsibility to position myself to be the best version of myself daily. Even though others will benefit from the constant improvement, I feel the little ones I’m responsible for will be closely watching. Fatherhood is a journey and a road I’m honored to travel. I lost my father in February of 2021 but I didn’t lose our wonderful memories. My father taught me more things non-verbally than verbally. It was his demeanor and interaction with people that spoke volumes. Though he also gave me insight into what being a man was. It was what I saw him do that impacted me most. Being a father is challenging at times especially when you’re working to pave a better way for your children. I’m thankful to the Lord for giving me the opportunity to be a father and it means the world to me. I embrace the journey, accept the journey, and I’m glad to be a part of changing the dynamics of what being a black father is. I would like to say to every Father, Happy Father’s Day and I’m proud of you and continue to be the great father you are.”

LaMario Williams – “Fatherhood to me is like the sunrise. Every day the sun gets up early and does grand gestures but is rarely seen or even acknowledged because most people are still asleep or preoccupied with other things. Still, the sun carries on day in and day out with or without an audience because the sun understands that his contribution has global implications and his absence be felt worldwide. So Fathers, like the sun are purpose-driven. Although it would be nice to be acknowledged & appreciated it’s not the catalyst for what we do or why. It’s PURPOSE!!! That’s not to diminish the mom’s role or to shade single mothers but the proof is in the pudding. Look at the impact of fatherlessness especially in “our black community” and tell me what you see??? Fathers are important because they along with mothers are essential for the growth & development of healthy families. This was GOD’S original plan. Before there was a community, town, city, state, country, monarchy, democracy, church, etc. There was a FAMILY!”

Donavan Miller – “My mother was a single parent, and my brother and two other siblings lived with her. None of us had a good father figure in our lives, and we relied on our uncles to discipline us when my mom needed some help. I was the problem child out of the three children. I always got in trouble, fighting with other kids and getting in trouble with the law. I only saw my dad once a year when I visited him in another part of Canada. I didn’t have a terrific relationship with my dad. And he wasn’t around. My bad behavior continued, and my mother tried everything she could to help me; she got me into the Big Brothers of Canada program, and I had a Big Brother that helped me as a boy and took me out to show me new perspectives and adventures. His name was Bruce Roberts, and to this day, I will forever feel that he was more of a father to me than anybody else. I grew up in my early twenties and had a daughter and my very first daughter at that; I will always remind her and tell her that she’s my little princess and I’m forever proud of her because she’s a miracle child and successful young woman, and I’m happy that indeed I am and continue to be a part of her life, as well as my other children.
Bruce was a white man, and I was a black child, but that didn’t worry me at all, and I thought he was the greatest thing that could have happened to me from a father’s perspective. One thing for sure is my goal and promise to me that I will never let my children down. I’m glad to say I’m so happy I kept my promise to my children and myself. At the beginning of my fatherhood, I couldn’t give my daughter a two-parent household which made me very insecure and wondering if that would affect her along the way. I wanted to guarantee that I tended to all my children and continue to provide them with all the love and care I could give them. But, I’m blessed to know that even with co-parenting, I did all right, and Amanda will always have a full-time father no matter how old she is. I learned that no matter whatever transpires in your relationship with other individuals, you will invariably have a relationship with your children. Today and now, I am the father of three boys and one girl; I’ve been through lots of tribulations regarding relationships, but I think I’m in a good place, and through all that time, I ensured that all my kids were taken care of. What does fatherhood mean to me? Being there for your children, spending the time with them, teaching them new things, helping them up when they fall, fatherhood is you laughing with them, crying with them, hugging them, supporting them, and helping them along their way until they get to the age where they can stand on their own. Then standing back and smiling as you watched them grow and prosper as a young adult with that strong and proud feeling, saying, that’s my child. That’s what fatherhood means to me.”

Terrill Paul, R&B SINGER, OLHO ENTERTAINMENT. – “What is fatherhood to me? First, fatherhood is not for children. It is something that has to be taken seriously. This means that you are responsible for a life other than yourself. The child or children will become what they see. It’s learned behavior. Be the example you want them to become.” (Latest Single: “Worth It”)

We at FEMI would like to say Happy Father’s Day to all the men around the world who are raising our future leaders of tomorrow! Black Father’s Matter! Our prayers go out to those who no longer have their Father with them and to those who have lost their kids.

I want to personally say Happy Father’s Day to my Father, Charles Austin from myself and Kacey! He has raised me since I was a teen and has been the best role model to me. I am who I am today because of his guidance and support!